'I was left feeling quite humiliated': Backhanded maid of honor and bridesmaid ignore bride during wedding dress try-on

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Jun 14, 2024 3:00 PM EDT

If you're the type of person who has dreamed of your wedding day, odds are you've probably dreamed of trying on your wedding dress. Shows like Say Yes to the Dress hype it up to be a dramatic, emotional ritual where your dreams are fulfilled and all your family members start crying. They give out free champagne, and your loved ones sit on a couch exclaiming "We love that!" or "You look so beautiful!" until you all unanimously decide on The Dress- the perfect, fairytale gown that transforms you from Regular Woman to Ethereal Bride. It's the stuff of movies.

That's not what happened to one bride-to-be, who found out her bridal party wasn't what she expected of them, turning a magical day into one that potentially ruined some close friendships. Read on to see if it was deserved or not, and what happened to treacherous members of the bridal party. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10360276736
    via Maria Orlova
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    AITA for calling out my friends over their behaviour at my wedding dress appointment?
    via u/fireheart_99
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    AITA for calling out my friends over their behaviour at my wedding dress appointment?
    via u/fireheart_99
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    I'm 25F, getting married to my fiancée 27M, next year. My best friend, A (25F) is maid of honour, and my friend, B (24F) is a bridesmaid, along with my sister and fiancées sister. I had a private wedding dress try on at a really lovely store close to where I live. My mother, sister, MIL, SIL,
    via u/fireheart_99
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    maid of honour and bridesmaid were present for this try on, as I was allowed 6 guests, and wanted them all to be involved. I have dreamed of trying on wedding dresses for a long time, and wanted a nice moment with the people closest to me. Instead, I was left feeling quite
    via u/fireheart_99
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    humiliated, embarrassed and upset after the appointment. I did end up choosing and buying a dress. Both my maid of honour (A) and bridesmaid (B), spent the entirety of the appointment, where I tried in different dresses and showed everyone (to ask for opinions and feedback),
    via u/fireheart_99
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    whispering to each other, laughing and offering no feedback or even a positive comment/compliment to any single wedding dress I tried on. Even when I found the dress of my dreams (that everyone ended up loving too! My mum cried), they didn't say a single thing,
    via u/fireheart_99
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    even when I asked if they liked the dress. They couldn't even pay me a compliment (and the dresses were nice, nothing outlandish or alternative, very normal, nice wedding dresses). The only time my maid of honour spoke was to exclaim that she heavily disliked a dress I was wearing as it was off the
    via u/fireheart_99
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    shoulder (a style she hates). That was it. I was quite embarrassed that my 2 closest friends were so negative the whole night, in front of my family. I felt heavily embarrassed and just really upset. My sister and SIL mentioned their behaviour, and my SIL messaged my fiancée to
    via u/fireheart_99
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    tell him how sad she felt for me to have such negative friends, which prompted him to ask me what happened, as I had just brushed it off and didn't want to make a big deal of it. However after speaking to him, he was quite upset on my behalf and said that if I felt comfortable, I should bring it up and ask them
    via u/fireheart_99
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    why they behaved that way. I did, very politely, ask them why neither of them paid me a compliment in any wedding dress I tried on, or just gave me feedback, which wasn't received well at all. They didn't think they
    via u/fireheart_99
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    had done anything wrong and had behaved perfectly fine the whole night, going as far as go say they quite enjoyed themselves. Am I the for still being upset about this and calling them out on it?
    via u/fireheart_99
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    • Apart-Ad-6518 · 1 day ago NTA "Both my maid of honour (A) and bridesmaid (B), spent the entirety of the appointment... whispering to each other, laughing and offering no feedback or even a positive comment / compliment to any single wedding dress I tried on."
    via u/Apart-Ad-6518
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    Why are you even friends with these mean spirited people, let alone giving them important roles in your special day? Your sister & SIL were concerned as well.
    via u/Apart-Ad-6518
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    "They didn't think they had done anything wrong and had behaved perfectly fine the whole night." I'd ditch them both & ask your SIL & sister/people who actually like you & want you to be happy.
    via u/Apart-Ad-6518
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    fireheart_99 OP 1 day ago Yeah I know :/ when I spoke to my sister, mother, SIL and MIL about it more in depth (as they later asked me about it and why they behaved that way), all 4 of them asked me why I'm friends with either of them - and the answer is honestly I
    via u/fireheart_99
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    don't know. Both of these friends have given me different types of grief over the years, and they can both be quite nasty/mean/negative people. I'm definitely re evaluating my friendships with them both.
    via u/fireheart_99
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    WalkingToConclusions. 1 day ago NTA. They were extremely and non-supportive. Even if they didn't like any of the dresses you tried on, they could have said something like "It looks lovely on you." Done. You felt like
    via u/WalkingToConclusions
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    they were mocking you - not even behind your back but RIGHT IN FRONT of you - and you were probably right. These are the two people who should be your biggest allies before and during the wedding. They both failed
    via u/WalkingToConclusions
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    miserably. Honestly? They don't deserve a special role. It might even be time to reevaluate if you're really as close as you think you are. Good friends do NOT behave like that. The fact that they don't see anything wrong with their behavior just adds injury to the (unspoken but very much real) insults.
    via u/WalkingToConclusions
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    fireheart_99 OP . 1 day ago Thankyou :) I definitely feel like I do gaslight myself a lot into thinking I'm being dramatic or overreacting about situations like this where I tend to get a bit internally emotional, as I am a bit sensitive, however I did feel like my feelings/actions here were justified. I'm definitely re-evaluating my friendships with them both.
    via u/fireheart_99
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    Youth NAsia63 · 1 day ago Annnd this is how you trim your guest list and save yourself some money. Weddings are expensive, why do you want people that aren't supportive to be there, partying on your dime? You say even your mother noticed their behavior and asked why you are even friends with them. Hmmm, so it's not just you. NTA
    via u/YouthNAsia63

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